Garden Gnomes
by Dynetyven
Summary: Dean is missing.


**A/N:** This is to cheer up my good friend Hannah. Dean is missing and Sam tries to find him. Crack all the way.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Supernatural or Garden gnomes.

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Sam woke up when the birds outside started chirping. He grunted before pulling his pillow over his head. After five minutes however he gave up on sleeping. Sam rolled out of bed and stumbled to the toilet. After having to fight off a boner and pee at the same time he washed his hands then brushed his teeth. When he entered the hotel room he realized that Dean wasn't in his bed.

"Dean?"

There was no reply. Sam looked at the bed that hadn't been slept in, then grabbed his mobile and looked to see if there were any texts from Dean. He sighed. Typical for Dean not to show up after a wild night out. Sam wanted to kick Dean's ass but that meant letting him know that he worried about him.

Sam grabbed his jeans and pulled them on before reaching for his gray shirt. He opened the door to see if the Impala was parked outside. It was.

Sam grabbed his mobile and texted Dean before grabbing his keys to the room. He went over to get some breakfast and ordered bacon and eggs and simply a cup of coffee. He sat there with his mobile in front of him as he waited for Dean to write back. After an hour Sam gave up on waiting. He texted Dean saying he was taking the Impala out for a drive. That usually got Dean's attention. Yet thirty minutes later there was still no answer.

Sam was getting edgy and called. If Dean was sleeping it out he could just say so and Sam would let him be. Still this wasn't how Dean normally did things. No one answered. After another thirty minutes Sam grabbed his laptop and started tracing Dean's mobile. Two minutes later he was driving the Impala to the other end of town. When he arrived at the address he double checked to make sure this was it.

The house was a typical suburban house with a picket white fence and the perfect lawn. There was not one single straw that wasn't trimmed to perfection and Sam hated the place at once. On the perfect lawn there were a bunch of garden gnomes. There were nine of these ugly things. Yet they weren't the normal kind. Sure they had the red cheeks and noses but they weren't wearing the strong colored clothes and those gnome hats. Sam hated them and he knew that Dean hated them even more.

They were different. One had sun glasses on and blue trousers. It had a brown jacket and a dark blue shirt. Hell it was dressed like Dean had been. Still Sam didn't linger admiring the gnomes. He knocked on the door and waited for someone to wake up and open the door. When he didn't hear anything he rapped once more this time louder. There were no sounds inside still. Sam looked inside a window but there were no sign of life. So he picked the lock and sneaked inside.

Inside was Dean's mobile and that was it. No sign of his brother or whoever he had gone there with. Of course the garden in the back had more of those horrible garden gnomes. An entire army of them. Some were dressed in skirts, one even looked like it had a cocktail dress on. Then there was the cheerleader and the a couple of football gnomes. Sam felt a bit nervous around them as one of them resembled a clown. God he hated clowns.

Then Sam heard a key. _'Fuck.'_ This was bad. Yet he wasn't about to run. He needed to know where Dean was and why his mobile was there.

He hid behind a wall, and when the person came around the corner he grabbed her and pinned her to the wall. _'Double fuck.'_ It was a teenager. A cute girl that couldn't be a day over 17. The typical kind Dean loved still normally he did want them legal.

"Don't scream. I wont hurt you."

The girl nodded with tears in her eyes. Fuck that was not good. He let go and grabbed a tissue for her to use.

"I didn't mean to frighten you. I am looking for my brother. Dean. Have you seen him? I don't know, maybe your older sister or mother?"

Sam didn't know what to do. He hadn't had a crying girl on his hands for years. Still he couldn't help but feel guilty. She just shook her head and looked so frighten at him. Now he felt like an asshole and didn't know what to say to make it up to her.

"I live here alone."

Her voice so soft that it almost hypnotized him. He smiled as he let his hands fall down his side. She looked up with those deer eyes. Large brown eyes that were the color of chocolate. Her lips were parted and for a moment Sam almost forgot why he was there. Then she got up on her toes and kissed him. At least tried too. Sam took a step back as he looked at her.

"Woah kitty. You're what, seventeen?"

"Actually I am a hundred and twenty-one. Don't tell anyone."

_'Triple fuck.'_

That was the last thought Sam had in his own body. At least in his human body. A second later he shrank until he was the size of a garden gnome. The girl looked even younger as she picked him up and skipped outside to the garden gnome that was wearing the same outfit as Dean. It _was_ Dean.

Now kids, the moral of the story. Well there isn't one. Just never judge a book by its cover or you might end up as a garden gnome. We don't want that, right?

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